When Saboteurs Take Over

There are moments when your reaction feels immediate, strong, and completely justified—and yet, at the same time, something about it keeps you stuck.

You replay a situation. You feel frustration, anxiety, or self-doubt. Your thinking narrows. And even if part of you knows this isn’t helping, you can’t seem to shift.

In the MindShifting Practice Lab, we talked about what’s happening in those moments: saboteurs.

What Saboteurs Are

Saboteurs are automatic, fear-based patterns of thinking that come from the survival (limbic) part of the brain. They are not random. In fact, they often start as strengths.

That’s what makes them tricky.

• If you’re someone who cares about others, that strength can turn into hyper-pleasing driven by fear: If I don’t help, they won’t like me.
• If you strive for excellence, that can become hyper-achieving driven by anxiety: If I’m not perfect, I’m not enough or No one can do this as well as I can.
• If you’re thoughtful and reflective, that can become overthinking or avoidance.

The key insight is this: Saboteurs are often your own strengths twisted by fear.

The Most Common Saboteur: The Judge

At the center of all of them is the judge.

The judge shows up as:

• Judging yourself: I messed up. I’m not good enough.
• Judging others: They shouldn’t be acting this way.
• Judging the situation: This isn’t fair. This shouldn’t be happening.

In the session, this came up clearly when we discussed self-judgment. When we put ourselves down, is it because we deserve it? Aren’t we just deluding ourselves when we tell ourselves it was okay?

The point was made that the negative feelings we have about ourselves are often the result of the limbic brain generating a story automatically—before we’ve had a chance to think it through.

That story feels like truth. But it’s not. It’s a reaction. It’s our survival brain trying to protect us, but it often keeps us stuck in shame or frustration rather than helping us improve.

Giving ourselves grace is not making excuses; it’s moving us back in a resourceful, learning-oriented mindset where growth is actually possible.

Recognizing Saboteurs in Real Time

Saboteurs move fast. So the skill is learning to recognize them.

You’re likely in saboteur mode when:

• Your thinking is rigid or repetitive
• You feel strong emotions like anger, anxiety, or shame
• You’re telling yourself a single, absolute story
• You’re reacting rather than choosing

In one example from the session, a participant described navigating a very difficult family situation. There were internal voices saying things wouldn’t get better, that each day would be worse. That’s a saboteur narrative—predictive, negative, and limiting.

Another example came up in a classroom context. A student you think of as “challenging” can easily trigger frustration or authority-based reactions. But that initial reaction is often driven by a judgmental saboteur. When the teacher shifted to empathy and exploration, the entire interaction changed.

Naming and Calling Them Out

After self-awareness, one of the most powerful steps is simply naming the saboteur.

Instead of:

• This is unfair

You shift to:

• That’s my judge talking

Instead of:

• I have to keep everyone happy

You shift to:

• That’s my hyper-pleaser

This creates distance. It’s not you who are incompetent, it’s just your judge telling you that you are. It’s not the student who is challenging, it’s just your hyper-achiever saboteur telling you that they are.

You’re no longer inside the reaction. You’re observing it.

And that small shift is what opens the door to change.

Moving Back to Sage Mode

Once you’ve recognized and named the saboteur, the next step is to shift into a more resourceful state—what we call Sage mode.

This doesn’t happen by force. It happens by redirecting.

You can:

• Pause and breathe
• Shift your attention
• Ask a different question

Instead of

• What’s wrong here? (a survival reaction based on the past)
• Ask: What matters? (a resourceful question that changes the focus on aligning with your values)

Instead of

• Why is this happening to me? (another survival reaction focused on the past)
• Ask: What are my options? (another resourceful question that focuses you on possibilities)

In the session, this showed up through the use of the Sage powers:

• Empathy: understanding others instead of reacting to them
• Explore: getting curious instead of assuming
• Navigate: focusing on what’s truly important

For example, in a difficult conversation, rather than telling someone what to do, the shift was to ask questions that helped them explore their own values and options. That’s Sage mode in action.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Saboteurs are not something you eliminate. They’re part of being human.

The real skill is:

• noticing them sooner
• naming them clearly
• and choosing not to focus on what’s next

Because when saboteurs take over, your thinking becomes fear-based and reactive.

When you shift to Sage, your thinking becomes intentional, values-based, and resourceful.

That shift is what gives you back your agency.

As one participant shared at the end of the session, “I am so thrilled that I finally understand HOW to handle obstacles like this in my life.”

And that’s really the point. Not to avoid challenges, but to have a way to move through them.

If you’d like to explore and practice this work in real situations, the next free MindShifting Practice Lab—focused on conflict and collaboration—starts July 8.

You can find more information and register here:
https://events.humanitix.com/mindshifting-practice-lab-conflict-and-collaboration-july-2026