Have you ever felt anxious about a decision precisely because the opportunity mattered so much?

I had a fascinating conversation with Jacqueline Kucera, author of Fearless Mind: How Your Human Brain Beats Artificial Intelligence and Lisa Thee author of Go! Reboot your Career in 90 Days.

During the conversation, author and technology leader Lisa Thee described that her work was attracting greater attention, and she was approaching the possibility of becoming far more publicly visible than she had ever wanted to be. In fact, it scared her.

She understood that visibility might be necessary to fulfill her mission. She wanted to serve as a role model for the next generation, particularly for women entering technology and leadership. Yet being seen also felt dangerous.

Her question was essentially: What do you do when what you feel you should do triggers anxiety or fear?

All of us get that feeling. Kids get it, adults get it, men get it, women get it. It’s human.

One way to understand that reaction is through what many therapists call Part X: a part of the mind that tries to protect us from danger by scaring us that we aren’t good enough, or aren’t worthy, or that we are bound to fail.

Part X is not primarily concerned with helping us build a meaningful life. Its job is survival. Because anything new involves uncertainty, and uncertainty carries some possibility of failure, embarrassment, rejection, or loss, Part X tries to stop us from taking risks.

It may say:

• Who do you think you are?
• People are going to criticize you!
• You’re going to be a public failure.
• If you do this your life will spin out of control.

These thoughts can feel like objective assessments of reality. They are not. But they are not entirely false, either. Moving forward may involve risk. Greater visibility may bring criticism. A new responsibility may become difficult. An ambitious project may fail.

Part X notices those possibilities and presents them as reasons not to act.

But Part X does not simply warn you about the consequences of one particular choice. It personally attacks you no matter which option you consider.

1. If you think about moving forward, it may say, This is why you are a failure. You are always starting things that do not work out.
2. If you consider not moving forward, it may say, This is why you are a failure. You never have the courage to follow through on anything.
3. If you think about postponing the decision, it may accuse you of procrastinating, avoiding responsibility, or once again being unable to make up your mind.

Part X can take any possible course of action and turn it into evidence that you are incapable, undeserving, or fundamentally flawed. Its voice does not sound like a calm warning. It sounds like a personal attack designed to make you feel unworthy and give up.

If every possible choice triggers criticism, the criticism itself cannot tell you which choice is right. Recognizing this pattern matters. It tells you only that your protective system has detected uncertainty and is warning you about the risks of whatever you are considering.

That distinction gives us back our power.

We do not have to accept Part X’s attacks as the truth about who we are. We can recognize them as stories based on survival instincts, warnings from a protective part of the brain that is scanning for danger.

We can say:

I understand that moving forward carries risks.

I understand that not moving forward carries risks.

Postponing the decision also carries risks.

Thank you for pointing those out.

Usually, just after saying that, we feel lighter.

Part X has done its job. It has alerted us to possible danger. But it does not get to make the final decision.

That decision can be based on our values, goals, priorities, and the kind of life we want to create.

Jacqueline Kucera added another important dimension to the conversation. Today, we know far more about the brain, emotions, and stress responses than previous generations did. That knowledge gives us the ability to become more conscious of what is happening inside us.

Instead of treating every uncomfortable emotion as evidence that we are making the wrong decision, we can become curious:

• What am I feeling?
• What might this reaction be trying to protect me from?
• Is this danger immediate and real, or am I reacting to uncertainty?
• What do I value enough to move toward despite the discomfort?

That reflection is especially important during periods of change. Careers are shifting. Technology, especially AI, is transforming how we work. Many people are reconsidering traditional employment, starting businesses, changing roles, or finding new ways to contribute.

Dr. Kucera pointed out that we need people who are willing to model those transitions—not because they feel no fear, but because they can hear the attacks of Part X, recognize the warnings beneath them, and still decide how they want to move forward.

Anxiety can be a useful signal. It can remind us to slow down, gather information, prepare, and proceed thoughtfully.

But it should not be the boss.

Perhaps the best evidence came from Lisa herself. After hearing this explanation of Part X, she said, “I’m feeling a little brave for once based on what we’ve just discussed, and I think I’m just gonna take a risk.”

Why do I think we will all soon be watching Lisa lead the next generation of women entering technology and leadership?