A few years ago, I found myself on a horseback riding trip in Colorado with my niece, staring down into a dry gully that was a meter and a half deep and a meter and a half wide. I am not a happy horseman, I was only doing this to spend some time with her, and I was definitely not ready to jump. There I was. Frozen. Staring at that ditch that was daring me to try to cross it, fall, and break some bones.

At that point, my niece gave me some brilliant advice. She told me to relax and focus entirely on the tree on the other side. “Look across at that tree. That’s where you want to end up,” she said.

And then she slapped my horse’s rear. It jumped and we landed perfectly next to the tree. What did I learn from this? 1) You end up where you focus; if you focus on the bottom of the gully, that is exactly where you will end up, but if you look where you want to go, you will get there. 2) Sometimes you need a nudge to get moving and then you’ll be alright. 3) If you’re going to let a teenager pick an activity for you, get ready for a wild ride.

Her advice perfectly illustrated a powerful MindShifting technique for getting unstuck: visualization. When we vividly visualize a successful outcome, we actually burn new pathways in our brains, building the fluency and confidence needed to overcome the obstacles in front of us.

I recently shared this story during a fantastic conversation with Andy Goram on Episode 141 of his podcast, Sticky From The Inside. We spent our time exploring the MindShifting methodology and diving into why our brains are naturally wired for survival rather than success.

In our conversation, we unpack several practical concepts to help you stay resourceful under pressure, including:

• The Survival Brain vs. The Resourceful Brain: We discuss how the limbic (survival) part of the brain wakes up in a blazing two-hundredths of a second to protect us. We explore how this natural defense mechanism can unfortunately narrow our thinking, reduce curiosity, and cause us to react emotionally before logic even enters the room.
• The Danger of Absolute Certainty: One of my favorite warning signs is certainty. We discuss why feeling absolutely, undeniably sure that you are right is often a major clue that you are locked in survival mode and are no longer open to learning or new information.
• Working With Triggering People: Human beings have a natural instinct to mimic the emotions of others, meaning someone else’s attack can easily trigger a fight-or-flight response in you. I share strategies for recognizing this trigger so you can intentionally remain calm, which allows you to co-regulate the other person’s emotions and de-escalate the conflict.
• Motivational Interviewing: We touch upon this incredible technique for having difficult conversations. It is a powerful way of speaking that transforms a divisive argument into a collaborative problem-solving session.

The real work of MindShifting is learning how to intentionally move from an immediate, emotional reaction to a calmer, more reasoned response. If you ever find yourself feeling stuck, getting defensive in meetings, or struggling to collaborate with difficult people, there is a better way to operate.

I highly encourage you to check out the full conversation on Sticky From The Inside. It is packed with deep insights and practical tools you can use right now to shift out of survival mode and meet your fullest potential.