A reflection from my conversation on The Impostor Syndrome Files

On her podcast The Impostor Syndrome Files, Kim Meninger explores the doubts and internal pressures that many capable professionals carry quietly.

When we spoke, our conversation wandered through a number of topics—from impostor syndrome to leadership to the way our brains react when something feels threatening or uncertain.

You can watch the full conversation below.

As often happens in conversations like that, there were several interesting threads. One of them, though, has continued to stay with me.

The Reaction Most of Us Recognize

One of the things Kim and I talked about was a moment that most of us have experienced many times, even if we don’t always notice it when it happens.

You’re in a conversation. Maybe it’s a meeting at work, a discussion with a colleague, or even a conversation with someone you care about. They say something and it feel like a gut punch. They insulted you. They disrespected you. They treated you as if you were beneath them or really stupid. It catches you off guard.

Almost immediately, your brain reacts.

This a clear limbic reaction. The brain interprets the situation as a potential threat, and the survival part of the brain takes over.

When that happens, our responses tend to fall into familiar patterns. Some people push back and argue. Others withdraw or shut down. Some try to smooth things over quickly just to make the tension disappear.

None of these reactions mean something is wrong with us. They are part of how the brain is designed to protect us.

But they often move us away from the outcome we actually want.

Sometimes We Catch Ourselves

Kim and I touched on something that happens occasionally in the middle of one of these reactions.

Sometimes, in the middle of the reaction, we catch ourselves.

You notice your voice getting sharper.
You feel your body tense.
You hear the words forming in your mind and realize they probably won’t help the situation.

Something important just happened.

You became aware of your own reaction.

That self-awareness creates the possibility of doing something different.

The Space Where a MindShift Begins

Many people assume emotional reactions are automatic and unavoidable. In some ways they are—our brains are wired to react quickly when something feels threatening.

But the brain also has an extraordinary ability to notice itself.

When we become aware of our internal reaction, even briefly, a small space opens between stimulus and response. Inside that space, we gain access to something powerful: choice.

Instead of defending ourselves immediately, we might ask a question.
Instead of assuming criticism, we might become curious about what the other person is seeing.
Instead of trying to win the moment, we might steer the conversation toward understanding.

What if they didn’t really insult us? What if they didn’t disrespect us? What if what they said was something we should listen to and explore?

Nothing about the situation has changed externally. The meeting is the same. The people are the same. The comment is the same.

What changed is our internal state.

And that shift—from automatic reaction to intentional response—is at the heart of what I call MindShifting.

A Familiar Moment at Work

You can see how this plays out in a simple example from everyday work life.

Imagine you’re presenting an idea in a meeting. You’ve put thought into it and you feel confident about the direction you’re proposing. Then someone across the table says, “I’m not sure that would work.”

In the limbic-reaction version of the story, the reaction is immediate. The comment lands as criticism. You defend the idea quickly. The other person pushes back. Before long the conversation tightens into a debate.

But in a MindShifted state, something different happens.

Right as the reaction begins, you notice it. You feel the defensiveness building and recognize what’s happening internally.

That moment of noticing creates just enough space to respond differently.

Instead of defending the idea right away, you might ask, “Can you say more about what concerns you?”

Suddenly the conversation changes direction. Instead of an argument, it becomes an exploration.

Nothing about the situation changed except one thing: your awareness of your own reaction.

Why This Matters

That brief moment of noticing may seem small, but it has enormous implications.

The more we practice recognizing our reactions, the easier it becomes to pause before responding. Over time we begin to see patterns in the situations that tend to trigger us. We develop the ability to choose responses that move conversations forward instead of escalating them.

That’s where resourcefulness, resilience, and collaboration begin to show up in real ways.

It’s also why I appreciated Kim’s questions so much during our discussion. She consistently explores the internal side of professional challenges—the part that isn’t always visible but often determines how situations actually play out.

If you’d like to hear the broader conversation, I encourage you to watch the full discussion below. Kim does wonderful work with The Impostor Syndrome Files, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to explore these ideas with her.

I’m looking forward to our next conversation