When Dr. Irena O’Brien invited me onto her Neuroscience of Coaching podcast, I’ll admit something: I was nervous. I’m not a neuroscientist—I’m a practitioner. I’ve spent decades helping people shift the way they think and act, but here I was, about to talk brain science with someone who’s spent nearly 30 years studying it formally.

That anxiety was a perfect, real‑time example of what we discussed in the interview: how quickly our scripts and stories take over.

Your Brain Acts Before You “Decide”

In the conversation, I explained scripts as what you do automatically, without thinking—like pushing someone back when they bump into you on the street. That action happens in hundredths of a second, from what I called the “automatic parts of the brain.”

The story comes afterward: “They were disrespectful.” That’s how we justify the script.

Dr. Irena O’Brien added an important layer: when the brain senses threat, “it releases stress hormones and temporarily reduces access to the prefrontal cortex.” In other words, right when we most need perspective, our brain is biased toward protection. That’s when we cling to scripts and stories like “I can’t do this,” or “I’m just not the kind of person who speaks up.”

Emotional Contagion—Even Online

We also talked about emotional contagion. I connected it to mirror neurons—our tendency to pick up and mirror others’ emotions. If you’re around angry people, you’re likely to become angry; if you’re around joyful people, that’s contagious too.

Dr. O’Brien highlighted that this isn’t limited to in‑person interactions. She pointed out that studies on social media show that if people keep reading negative posts, “they turn out to have more negative mindset.” The emotions in your feed are quietly training your brain.

You Can “Pre‑Game” Your Triggers

One of my favorite practices we discussed is preparing for difficult interactions ahead of time—almost like a game.

If I know someone triggers me, I’ll decide in advance:

“I’m going to see if I can reply with empathetic, warm responses 10 times in a row, no matter what they say.”

Dr. O’Brien loved this, noting that it “takes the heaviness out of it” and helps down‑regulate the nervous system. Instead of being hijacked by stress, you’re more able to access the prefrontal cortex and choose a different script.

By gamifying your responses to stay in Sage mode, you’re not only protecting yourself from negative emotional contagion—you may actually reverse it. Eventually, the other person’s nervous system starts picking up on your calm and care.

We got into all of this—and more—in the interview. I encourage you to listen to the full conversation with Dr. O’Brien to hear how these ideas connect to neuroplasticity, safety, education, parenting, and coaching practices.

If you’d like to go deeper, my book MindShifting: Stop Your Brain from Sabotaging Your Happiness and Success explores each of these themes in greater depth, with concrete tools you can use for yourself, your clients, or your students.